"I call to you from my quiet darkness. Show me your mercy and love. Let me see your face, hear your voice, touch the hem of your cloak. I want to love you, be with you, speak to you and simply stand in your presence. But I cannot make this happen. Pressing my eyes against my hands is not praying, and reading about your presence is not living in it. But there is a moment in which you will come to me, as you did to your fearful disciples, and say, “Do not be afraid; it is I.” Let that moment come soon, O Lord. And if you want to delay it, then make me patient. Amen." Henri Nouwen

"I cannot make this happen." It is a grace from God. Mary Magdala sought the Lord with tears, when she found the empty tomb. While Peter and John saw the empty tomb and went away. Mary Magdala remained with a searching and longing heart. When Jesus came to her, she did not recognize him, because she was seeking a dead body. When Jesus uttered her name in love, she recognized the Lord and clung to him. God gives us the grace to seek him with our whole being but only reveals himself to us, when our hearts are ready to receive him as he is, not as we want. Like the bride in the Song of Songs, we need to continue to seek the Beloved no matter what it takes. He will come, not on our terms, but on his.